To all you mommas out there who feel like you lost yourself in the midst of motherhood, you're not alone.
But I'm here to remind you (myself included) that you are more than just momma.
You are more than just wife.
You are more than just what everyone else needs you to be.
Somewhere deep down in that heart of yours, you have tucked away your own dreams and desires.
I'm here to give you permission to unleash them.
In fact, I'm here to challenge you to unleash them.
Now before people start commenting about how motherhood should be your main focus, or your husband should be number 1, or work should take priority, or anything else, just hear me out. Family, work, friends, all the things are wonderful things, but they cannot become where we place our entire identity. Because the sad truth is, one day you could wake up and all of those things could be gone.
When we lose ourselves in all these things, we are no longer our best us.
You are no longer your best you.
I am no longer my best me.
Your children, husband, friends, work, need you to be your best you.
Please, hear me friend...
The world needs you to be your best you!
I want you to take just a moment and think about you pre children. Before you had these precious, adorable, incredibly hilarious, but completely exhausting little beings that call you momma, who were you? What did you like? What inspired you? What were your life goals? You see, one day, those sweet babies will be all grown. If you lose yourself along the way, it's going to be even harder to find yourself after 20 years.
Maybe you are a brand new momma. Please, don't let yourself reach the point where you are no longer sure who you are. Maybe you are not a momma, and that's okay. It's easy to lose yourself in other things as well, like your career, boyfriend, spouse, college, craziness of life.
I started asking myself the above question. Who was I pre child? Honestly, it took me a minute to be able to remind myself. And then it made me think even further back. Who was I pre my husband. Now, I was only 15 years old then, so that really required calling on some memories.
Pre baby, I was a business woman with a dream to change women's thinking on fitness, food, finances, and faith. I had a dream of multiple Soul Fitt studios all over the world. I envisioned a beach front Soul Fitt. I envisioned women having fun with fitness, while in the same room breaking chains by faith. I envisioned conferences with thousands of women breaking chains in the name of Jesus. I know this is a God-given dream. I know that seasons change and that some dreams may not come for a long time. But what I have also learned is that completely giving up on your own dreams is detrimental. I know I have a lot to offer this world. I know God has put a specific calling on my life to help other women find freedom from life's struggles through faith in Christ. But in the midst of all the other roles and responsibilities I am trying to do well at, I almost let that part of me completely go. I almost gave up on my business. In fact, I had papers in place to sell the studio and walk away. And down the road, if that's what God calls me to, that's exactly what I will do. But the reason I was about to do it was because I was so consumed in trying to be the best mom I could be, the best wife I thought I needed to be, that I lost me. I lost MY dream. The buyer changed her mind after a 2 month process. To me, that was a sign from God that He isn't finished with me yet.
Pre husband, wow. That's hard to remember.
I remember being fun. I remember laughing a lot. I remember smiling always.
I loved my girlfriends. I remember having great girlfriends and late girls nights staying up snacking on junk food and talking about life. Now, I don't really have close friends. I did. I had a wonderful support group that I met with every Tuesday night. I decided to stop going so that I could be home with my family for dinner.
DO NOT cut your friends out. Even if it's only once per week or every other week, us ladies need other ladies.
I loved dancing. I would dance all night. Any kind of dancing. I haven't went out dancing in five years. I guess I got tired of dancing alone. That brought me SO much joy. I need to go dancing again. Find that thing that brings you joy, that allows you to just let loose, and go do it.
I loved running. I was fast. I would run miles upon miles, always trying to break my previous record. I loved fitness. I was competitive and always fit. I haven't ran in a race in a long time. I haven't competed against myself to break my fitness record in a long time. I do not even make time to exercise most days. DO NOT cut out your health to take care of your family. If you're not healthy, how can you be the best you?
I used to love fashion and shopping. Today, I went shopping at the outlet malls in the first time since I literally cannot remember. I wanted to cry as I walked through the stores. As I was walking, I realized how much of me I have actually lost. No wonder my husband doesn't want to be around me much. I'm not the woman he married. I lost myself. I used to always wear the cutest clothes. Now, it's workout gear. Most of my clothes no longer fit because I lost the part of me that loved staying fit. Which in return, removed some of my self confidence, which in return made me never want to go shopping.
I could go on forever.
But what about you? What have you lost in the midst of motherhood, careers, relationships, the busyness of life?
Who were you? Who do you want to be?
Write it down. Chase after it.
Sure, being a mom is the greatest gift and extremely important. But there's this belief that it's selfish to take care of you, when reality is, it's selfish not to. If you do not take care of you, the rest of the world will suffer. What this world needs is women who are on fire.
And don't forget, as you go on this journey to rediscovering you, remember the most important identity of all: Daughter of the Most High King. When life leaves you feeling so lost and you don't know who you are anymore, start with thee foundation being loved by God and build up from there. God loves you and God creeated you with purpose. Now step out and discover exactly what that purpose is. Once eeyou find it, chase it. Run after it. Because the world needs the beest you. The world needs your unique, personalized gifts from God.
"Delight yourself first in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."