Have you ever found yourself just trying to be super woman? No biggie right? Sure, I can handle it all. I can do it all. I’m super woman. I never realized how much of my life I have played this role of super woman until just a few weeks ago.
A few weeks ago I was in a reflexology appointment. After pregnancy and 60 pounds of weight gain, I developed plantar fasciitis in my feet. Side note, if you have never tried reflexology, you need to try my girl Judy Deal in Scottsburg. She is amazing! She rubs my feet for an hour and hits all my trigger points. It has helped so much with my feet aches.
But anyway. As she’s sitting there pushing on my feet she asks “Is that tender?” To which I replied “a little bit.” To which she replied “Does that mean truly just a little bit, or does that mean I’m a former military spouse and business owner “little bit”.” Wow. This really made me think. In fact, it was all I could think about the rest of the day. How many times in my life have I put aside my own emotions, pain, physical needs just to continue trying to be super woman. I mean, I had a baby with no epidural for heaven sake, I can do anything right? By why did I do that? To show that I was strong? To show that I was super woman? Even with a simple question of someone asking me if I was in pain, I answered just a little bit. The truth is, it hurt. It was real tender. But, I’m super woman. So, I ignored the pain and said that I was fine. I am so thankful for Judy’s simple comment that day. It’s made me start to recognize all the times throughout the week when I am trying to be super woman.
I know I am not alone in this. How many times in life have you put yourself last? Have you lied to yourself and others about your emotional state? How many times has someone asked you how you’re doing and you respond with “just fine” when in reality any minute you feel like you could just bust out in tears. Now of course, we don’t want to just let loose on the random person that asks how you’re doing in the grocery shop, but God never intended for us to hold it all together on our own shoulders. Let me remind you friend, YOU ARE NOT SUPER WOMAN. AND YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE! We were meant to walk this life with others. If you don’t have that support group of women who you can just be completely real with and tell them when you are a total mess, you have to find that tribe.
As a momma, you come last right? You get the kids plates made, you get your husbands made, you get yours made and finally set down to eat, just in time for the kid to ask for more, or for your husband to need a drink. You grab your plate to go reheat it up just in time for the next kid to ask for me. You eventually eat cold food. You have to take care of everyone else first right? For the past 1 1/2 years, my baby has consumed almost all of my attention. I have been sleep deprived for months straight. I have lived off of fast food. I have stood and just cried in his room over and over. Listen momma; make that phone call. Ask that friend to come over so you can sleep for a few hours. Ask your momma to come cook dinner or clean your house. Ask your husband to go to the grocery. YOU ARE NOT SUPER WOMAN AND YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE.
As a military spouse, you have to be super woman right? Your husband is deployed, but life still continues. The kids need to be taken to their sporting events, dinner needs cooked, the bills need paid, the HVAC unit needs fixed, the car needs oil changed. You feel this need to overcompensate and make up for all of the things that “need” to be done. The kids need extra love with dad gone. But all the while, you are so mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. You have to be strong right? When I was a military wife, I tried to ask so strong on my own. When I found an amazing church group, it was like the biggest weight was lifted off my shoulders. Every Wednesday night, I met for military wive’s bible study where we did life together. When my lawn mower broke and I wanted to just sit in the yard and cry, my church family showed up and mowed my grass and fixed my lawn mower! I would not have survived deployment on my own. Listen military woman; find that community of other military spouses. Get plugged into a mom’s group. Find a church that has a good support group. YOU ARE NOT SUPER WOMAN AND YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE.
As business owner, you pay the bills, you pour into the customers, you take care of everyone else and ignore your own health. You respond to the text messages that come at 10 pm, even though you should be decompressing your brain from the mentally tolling day. You respond to emails every hour of the day. You have to keep the business going right? For the past four years of being a business owner, I have did everything on my own. So much so, that it led me to a point of complete exhaustion. So much so, that I was ready to sell my business and walk away. This dream I loved so much was no longer worth all the struggle. That’s when God opened my eyes to an amazing friend sitting literally right in front of me for four years to help share the burden of business. Listen entrepreneur; create a team. Don’t go at this alone because entrepreneurship can be one of the most lonely games out there. Find a like minded person with the same mission and work your tails off together. Don’t wait until the point of complete exhaustion. YOU ARE NOT SUPER WOMAN AND YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE.
As a wife, you feel so alone. You feel like your husband doesn’t understand you or doesn’t seem to care. You feel the weight of the world sitting on your shoulders. You see your marriage starting to downhill spiral. But you have to just keep smiling and pretending everything is fine right? For the past two years, I have watched my marriage go from great, to mediocre, to rock bottom. We are working on getting back to great, but we should have never let ourselves get to mediocre. Listen wife; if your marriage is no longer thriving, get counseling. Force that weekly date night into your schedule. Make time for that man that used to give you butterflies. Give him your undivided attention at some point daily. Don’t wait until you are almost separated to share your feelings. You can’t just continue to hold it together. YOU ARE NOT SUPER WOMAN AND YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE.
I pray today that you my dear friend will quit wearing the mask of super woman. Don’t wait until your health is suffering. Don’t wait until you are an emotional wreck. Don’t wait until you are physically unable. If you are already at that point, I give you permission today to take off your cape. The Bible says that God wants to carry our burdens. Let your shoulders relax. Let Him take some of your pain for you. Take off your super woman cape and just be real. This world needs more real people. And it’s okay to not be okay. The quicker you take your cape off and acknowledge that, the quicker you can become an even stronger.